like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
