is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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