i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Randomize
