piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
