Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
