yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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