Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
