She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just google imaged poop.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
