Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
