How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
