Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
