so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
