So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
love makes seman taste better
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize