Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Randomize
