was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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