Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
