oh god the rape fog is back!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
