I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Are we still banned from the library?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
