You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
