So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
should my penis look like a turkey
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
