so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
