Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
