you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
