Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize