Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
