well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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