I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
