I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize