Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So how was he last night?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Five-minute foot-long.

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  (508): So how was he last night? (617): Five-minute foot-long. http://tfl.nu/89p0
  Replies (29) Good night (798) Bad night (1426)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Its only 8 and she is already passed out

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2

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  (702): Its only 8 and she is already passed out (1-702): Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2 http://tfl.nu/cu8c
  Replies (73) Good night (1436) Bad night (3764)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"

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  (330): Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)" http://tfl.nu/e61w
  Replies (31) Good night (1106) Bad night (4816)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You suck.

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  (248): Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier. (1-248): You suck. http://tfl.nu/uyss
  Replies (41) Good night (844) Bad night (3438)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.

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  (330): Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight. http://tfl.nu/vmn2
  Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (3975)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?

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  (413): Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go? http://tfl.nu/lxh6
  Replies (32) Good night (4760) Bad night (867)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier

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  (410): we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier http://tfl.nu/xjeu
  Replies (6) Good night (8003) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you

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  (419): you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you http://tfl.nu/zo5g
  Replies (7) Good night (4012) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date

  (845): View more from New York

  i guess it runs in the family.

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  (845): so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date (845): i guess it runs in the family. http://tfl.nu/gfn4
  Replies (6) Good night (5332) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.

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  (303): Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures. http://tfl.nu/miux
  Replies (7) Good night (537) Bad night (1910)
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  (213): View more from California

  If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out

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  (213): If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out http://tfl.nu/pkwm
  Replies (3) Good night (1302) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."

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  (512): We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get." http://tfl.nu/dl94
  Replies (1) Good night (1444) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?

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  (780): Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat? http://tfl.nu/yo7z
  Replies (10) Good night (840) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.

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  (250): If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you. http://tfl.nu/tnhh
  Replies (6) Good night (1017) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive

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  (775): I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive http://tfl.nu/xzuf
  Replies (0) Good night (258) Bad night (505)

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