Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations http://tfl.nu/81ve
  Replies (7) Good night (722) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): You don't need id to drink rum in an alley. http://tfl.nu/aqpy
  Replies (17) Good night (3649) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm. http://tfl.nu/s4sh
  Replies (9) Good night (2827) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/srjh
  Replies (8) Good night (2977) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you. http://tfl.nu/1hxd
  Replies (22) Good night (4770) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions http://tfl.nu/qlm8
  Replies (7) Good night (4132) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks... http://tfl.nu/ccgl
  Replies (6) Good night (6206) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/9d1q
  Replies (25) Good night (1814) Bad night (5508)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am http://tfl.nu/z6p6
  Replies (7) Good night (2637) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context http://tfl.nu/uw18
  Replies (4) Good night (2417) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again. http://tfl.nu/91lg
  Replies (17) Good night (943) Bad night (2857)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck. http://tfl.nu/kvtv
  Replies (10) Good night (2490) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win. http://tfl.nu/kl48
  Replies (2) Good night (1413) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Coming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this. (504): Coming. http://tfl.nu/0nn7
  Replies (8) Good night (1282) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery. http://tfl.nu/qyfd
  Replies (2) Good night (307) Bad night (539)

Randomize