Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven http://tfl.nu/9auj
  Replies (32) Good night (13398) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell http://tfl.nu/mqh8
  Replies (29) Good night (6479) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  How did people poop without Blackberrys?

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Motorola Razers?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Stone age, man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): How did people poop without Blackberrys? (416): Motorola Razers? (902): Stone age, man. http://tfl.nu/a751
  Replies (53) Good night (4355) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis http://tfl.nu/uywx
  Replies (19) Good night (4636) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit. http://tfl.nu/xfz2
  Replies (17) Good night (1190) Bad night (3916)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work. http://tfl.nu/tfd2
  Replies (14) Good night (991) Bad night (3896)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself. http://tfl.nu/y3oz
  Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (2169)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  tequila?

  (317): View more from Indiana

  yep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus (1-317): tequila? (317): yep http://tfl.nu/cmfp
  Replies (3) Good night (1903) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS http://tfl.nu/9hqo
  Replies (2) Good night (932) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night. (864): I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this. http://tfl.nu/ixlj
  Replies (5) Good night (1086) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat. http://tfl.nu/bfhd
  Replies (6) Good night (870) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys http://tfl.nu/l8fa
  Replies (2) Good night (326) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate" http://tfl.nu/9pbz
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (168)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year http://tfl.nu/xa5v
  Replies (0) Good night (301) Bad night (178)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick http://tfl.nu/ccta
  Replies (6) Good night (1080) Bad night (174)

Randomize