Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China

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(914): View more from New York

just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(856): View more from New Jersey

we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"

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(438): View more from Quebec

I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.

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(805): View more from California

He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.

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(520): View more from Arizona

HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE

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