Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!