Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
