I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
