she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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