who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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