walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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