The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
