My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
