im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
