i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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