I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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