so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i permit you to call me
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize