Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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