Is it normal to miss your booty call?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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