do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
