People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
