i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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