Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
