drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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