she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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