Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
