Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
