seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
