I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
