Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
