I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
