i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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