You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
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I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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