reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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