I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
