So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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