Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
