Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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