I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Bang-toberfest begins!!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
