well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
